I'm A Loser

Two events during 1964 were to have a profound effect on John's writing. The first was hearing Bob Dylan's music in Paris during January, when Paul acquired The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan from and interviewer at a local radio station.

Paul had heard Dylan's music before through the student friends in Liverpool but it was the first time John had heard it. After hearing Freewheelin', which was Dylan's first album, they went out and bought his debut album Bob Dylan and, according to John, "for the rest of our three weeks we didn't stop playing them. We all went potty on Dylan."

The second event to affect John in a big way was meeting journalist Kenneth Allsop, a writer for the Daily Mail and a regular interviewer on Tonight, BBC Television's news magazine programme, John first met him on March 23, when he was interviewed for four minutes on Tonight about his book In His Own Write, and then again at a Foyles Literary Luncheon at the Dorchester Hotel in London's Park Lane. Allsop, a handsome craggy Yorkshirman, was 44 years old at the time and about to become one of the best-known faces on British television. He had been in journalism since 1938, with a brief interruption caused by the war, during which he served in the Royal Air Force.

It was in the 'green room', the hospitality suite, at the BBC's Lime Grove Studios on March 23 that Allsop first spoke to John about his songwriting encouraging him not to hide his true feelings behind the usual banalities of the pop song. It was obvious to Allsop from reading In His Own Write that John had much more to give if he was prepared to open up to his deeper feelings.

Years later, John told his confidant Elliot Mintz that this meeting marked a significant turning point in his songwriting. "He told me that he was very nervous that day and, because of this, became very talkative and engaged Allsop in conversation," says Mintz. "Allsop had in essence said to him that he wasn't terrible enamoured with the Beatles' songs because they all tended to be 'she loves him', 'he loves her', 'they love her' and 'I love her'. He suggested to John that he try to write something more autobiographical, based on personal experience rather than these abstract images. That stuck a chord with him."

Although recorded five months later, 'I'm A Loser' was the first fruit of this meeting with Allsop. It would be wrong to say it was a complete change of direction, because from the beginning John had written songs in which he exposed himself as lonely, sad and abandoned, but in 'I'm A Loser' he let a little more of his true self show. On the surface, it's another song about having lost a girl but the lines, which announce that beneath his mask he is 'wearing a frown', suggests that he considers himself a loser in more ways than one. He's not just a loser in love; he feels that he's a loser in life.

All this would be idle speculation if it wasn't for the fact that 'I'm A Loser' can now be seen as an early stage in John's tortuous journey towards candid self-revelation in his songwriting. At the time, he was quick to credit the effect Bob Dylan had on 'I'm A Loser'. "Anyone who is one of the best in his field - as Dylan is - is bound to influence people," he said at the time. "I wouldn't be surprised if we influenced him in some way."

Kenneth Allsop went to present the television news programme 24 Hours and then, in May 1973, he was found dead at his home. The cause of his death was an overdose of painkillers but the lack of a suicide note meant that the inquest was left to record an open verdict.

Hard Travellin', Allsop's account of the life of the American hobo which was first published in 1967, has become a classic of its kind and is still in print.